hello

another meaningless ramble. Oh how joyful.
mood: ill =[
listoning to: armor for sleep - car underwater <333
oh things are nasty latly, it's nearly christmas and everyones sad. Good news is i probably won't need to move this year. WHOOP. unfortunatly i kinda want to move i really dont like the waiting, i'd much prefer to move right now than have to wait forever just anticipating it. Got most peoples presents. Which is good usually it would be the 20th of december and i still wouldn't have got them. I actually really hate school at the moment, i try and get out of it with every oppertunity i have. Maths in particular i hate, my teacher talks bull she's fairly nice but gets really annoyed if you dont get things repeatedly, like if you really dont get it and she keeps explaining but you still dont get it, thats when she gets really annoyed. which means that most of us that got stuck in her class just nod along while shes talking, if you get picked on to answer a question ya up shit creek. She hardly ever picks on me though which is good and i sit next to a pretty helpful dude. But anyone thats good with algebra and negative numbers get in contact with me!!. English is annoying, i have this teacher called miss cook and she goes on and on about how we're not supposed to talk. (my class has issues and refuses to shut up most of the time) i mean it's normal for a teacher to shout at someone for talking over them or w.e but she just spends half the lesson lecturing us on it every lesson, and then she blames us for waisting half a lesson for talking wtf?
The only thing i have to look forward to is christmas, i get to see my cousin =] and also march 29th thats when i see my chemical romance LIVE at wembly arena, hopefully i wont have moved by then, but im pretty sure i will. everythings really confusing at the moment. A lot of the time if im in public i feel as though i have to blend in so that no one notices me. Which is a shame, and i dont like doing it. i dont really see why 'chavs' bother me so much. i dont even see why they hate people like me so much. i mean sometimes i can understand if i actually knew the person and i had done something to upset them. but i mean total strangers give me shit and why do i deserve that?
a couple of weeks ago in RE we were talking about animal testing and whether its right or not. Teacher asked 'your pet or your mum' it was an inhumain question but brought up a heavy debate. Many people (like me) were called selfish and careless because they thought that animal testing was wrong even if it was used to help a relative. But i think the people that are selfish are the people that hate animal testing when the result is used on someone else but think its a good thing when its used on a relative to help. This is unfair. i personally think animal testing is wrong in every way you cant justify it. You cant justify cutting open a rat and putting an electrode in his brain, it doesnt matter if it's painless. It doesnt matter if the rat is asleep. That rat has done nothing to deserve it. People need to realise that just because we are more devoloped we are no greater than an ant. We have no right whatsoever to carry out tests on animals. anyway moving swiftly on, i may become wicca i need to do some more research on it but from what i have found out so far its a very respectable religion a;though in some aspects i am completley against religion i think the wicca community is friendlier than most.
I'm against religion because, well dont send me hatemail for this but lets face it, it starts wars. I mean why does iraq hate us? the crusades. We killed thousends of them. I mean sure it was like hundreds of years ago, but its not like they care.

anyway im going to eat omlette
toodles
take care
xxx

ily

oh i love this blog, its not so much a blog for me, more like a diary. Which is nice. I feel, like i dunno. Just really sort of lost. I feel like i'm too young to understand anything and yet ive felt more emotions than most people should do at this age. Listoning to this is how i dissapear by my chemical romance, 'without you this is how i dissapear' well i am dissapearing, i dunno its weird. i just really cant believe that when i was little i was scared of people like me and thought that the people that always wear designer things and stuff were really nice. Fuck thats a load of shit. Seriousley. It scares how much my chemical romance, mean to me. I mean everyone is like 'it's just a band' i guess most people think im just an obsessed fan girl. I dunno maybe i am? maybe i'm kidding myself that they mean this much.

i dont love you like i did yesterday, (my chemical romance i dont love you) sometimes i feel as if my dad is thinking that, my nan as well. It annoys me that no one has bothered to try and figure me out. Am i just not giving anyone a chance? i know i bottle everything up. i dunno, i say that too much, never mind.

i dont know

Well hello there, wow i hate growing up everything seems as though its going wrong. God i dunno i guess everyone can blame it on hormones. Sucks. i prefer to blame it on everything that feels as though its going wrong. Like for example my mum might make me move to some place called harwich, full of no one decent. I dunno except my aunt and uncle, but i dunno i can't exactly go to them when the next my chemical romance cd is out, i cant go to them when bands night is on and ask them if they want to come with me. If i do move i will be completley on my own. There will be no one remotly like me. If it happens its going to suck a hell of a lot and you realise if i move i won't have anyone, my ambition and self confidence will be at an all time low. I wont focus in class ill just sit at the back and doodle or something and then i wont be bothered to go to college ill just work at a Mcdonalds somewhere ill probably stop being a vegetarian as well. i wont stand up for my beliefs anymore. everything sucks. and ya know what? the only person that listens to me is this computer, i dont talk to it or anything, im speaking metaphorically, ya know? never mind. My best friend aimee she has her own problems im helping her right now, my other best friend sophie she doesn't understand my mum doesnt understand, my uncle doesnt understand, the rest of my family? PFFT! i dont even know if theyre classed as family if they dont talk to you or ask about you or complain when you dont visit but dont come and visit you either. Yeah i feel as though my family has disowned me. i know this was a very emo rambling but whatever everyone has that little emo kid inside of them.

just a ramble

So yeah feeling considerably pissed off, I HATE JAKE WATSON HES AN IGNORANT BASTARD AND NEEDS TO DIE. so yeah glad i got that of my chest, if you were wondering the reason i hate him so much 1) he used to terrorize me in primary school 2) he terrorizes me in secondary. Today he was meaner than usual i nearly punched him, but i didn't he keeps saying stuff like i slit my wrists and loadsa bullshit. EURGH HUMAN BEINGS ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and btw has anyone ever thought about the fact that there is actually no such thing as time, it's just a conveniance for us humans.

so sick of...

1) people calling me a poser because i haven't liked my chemical romance since 2002 well i;m sorry in 2002 i was8 and hows an 8 year old english girl supposed to hear about a small american underground band from new jersey? i mean c'mon personally i think 2 years is a good amount of time to have liked a band for
2)people saying i follow the trend of being bi i'm not following some trend it took me ages to figure out i was bi and only one person actually knows about the fact i'm bi so you lucky people reading this are rather lucky to be reading this confidential information
3)people calling me emo i'm not emo i don't look emo i don't even have an emo haircut
4)people slagging off emo's god emo's are people too ya know they can smile they don't all cut theydo dance when they go to shows, well i mean they mosh
5)fishermen jesus christ me and my friend Aimee were up by the river near me and we went up to this lakey bit where loads of people go to fish and we were just throwing stones into the lake and we got told for it how mean is that?

i did a survey ^^

50 short questions Survey!
Sleep with or without clothes on?	psh! without
Prefer black or blue pens?	my nails
Dress up on Halloween?	hmm maybe
Like to travel?	yeah i guess
Like Someone?	maybe...
Do they know?	i don;t know i didn\'t tell them
Who sleeps with you every night?	percy my stuffed teddy bear
Think you're attractive?	no
Want to get married?	well someday i guess
To:	thats a secret, people who know me would know he answer to that
Are you a good student?	yea im not bad
Are you currently happy?	urm kinda confused actually
Have you ever cheated?? Been cheated on?	...
Birthplace?	A HOSPITOL SOMEWHERE
Christmas or Halloween?	hallows eve, on christmas you have to meet up with family, sucks
Colored or black-and-white photo?	black and white its groovier
Do long distance relationships work?	i dno havent had one
Do you believe in astrology?	yes
Do you believe in love at first sight?	urm kinda
Do you consider yourself the life of the party?	not really
Do you drink?	no
Do you make fun of people?	only if i have a reason to like if they were mean to me i would take the piss outta them back
Do you think dreams eventually come true?	depends on the dream
Favorite fictional character?	batman
Go to the movies or rent?	yeah
Have you ever moved?	three times
Have you ever stolen anything?	nope
How's the weather right now?	well the sky is greyish blue its quite peculier
Last time you cut your hair?	urm the beggining of this year
Last person you talked to on the phone?	my friend aimees mum
Last time you showered?	this morning
Loud or soft music?	LOUD
Mcdonalds or Burger King?	neither im veggie
Night or day?	night i think
Number of pillows?	2
Piano or guitar?	guitar
Future job?	i dunno as long as its not in an office im good
Current job?	student?
Current love?	...
Current longing?	chocolate
Current disappointment?	the song playing on the tv
Current annoyance?
Last thing you ate?	urm some chips
Last thing you bought?	the chips that i ate a while ago
Most recent thing you are looking forward to?	im not looking forward to anything
What are you hearing right now?	a song
Plans for the weekend?	sleepover
What did you do today?	went to the river i live near
Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?	\"look into my eyes and its easy to see one and one makes two, two and one makes three\"
Pick a movie quote?	\"nice hat\"
Take this survey Find more surveys

depression

i cant go and see my chemical romance, yes you head, i cant go and see them. I was so fucking upset when i heard. i frigging cried my self to sleep. so yeah all week ive been in a dark place. but now ive just gone darker than dark seriousley.