ily

oh i love this blog, its not so much a blog for me, more like a diary. Which is nice. I feel, like i dunno. Just really sort of lost. I feel like i'm too young to understand anything and yet ive felt more emotions than most people should do at this age. Listoning to this is how i dissapear by my chemical romance, 'without you this is how i dissapear' well i am dissapearing, i dunno its weird. i just really cant believe that when i was little i was scared of people like me and thought that the people that always wear designer things and stuff were really nice. Fuck thats a load of shit. Seriousley. It scares how much my chemical romance, mean to me. I mean everyone is like 'it's just a band' i guess most people think im just an obsessed fan girl. I dunno maybe i am? maybe i'm kidding myself that they mean this much.

i dont love you like i did yesterday, (my chemical romance i dont love you) sometimes i feel as if my dad is thinking that, my nan as well. It annoys me that no one has bothered to try and figure me out. Am i just not giving anyone a chance? i know i bottle everything up. i dunno, i say that too much, never mind.

i dont know

Well hello there, wow i hate growing up everything seems as though its going wrong. God i dunno i guess everyone can blame it on hormones. Sucks. i prefer to blame it on everything that feels as though its going wrong. Like for example my mum might make me move to some place called harwich, full of no one decent. I dunno except my aunt and uncle, but i dunno i can't exactly go to them when the next my chemical romance cd is out, i cant go to them when bands night is on and ask them if they want to come with me. If i do move i will be completley on my own. There will be no one remotly like me. If it happens its going to suck a hell of a lot and you realise if i move i won't have anyone, my ambition and self confidence will be at an all time low. I wont focus in class ill just sit at the back and doodle or something and then i wont be bothered to go to college ill just work at a Mcdonalds somewhere ill probably stop being a vegetarian as well. i wont stand up for my beliefs anymore. everything sucks. and ya know what? the only person that listens to me is this computer, i dont talk to it or anything, im speaking metaphorically, ya know? never mind. My best friend aimee she has her own problems im helping her right now, my other best friend sophie she doesn't understand my mum doesnt understand, my uncle doesnt understand, the rest of my family? PFFT! i dont even know if theyre classed as family if they dont talk to you or ask about you or complain when you dont visit but dont come and visit you either. Yeah i feel as though my family has disowned me. i know this was a very emo rambling but whatever everyone has that little emo kid inside of them.

just a ramble

So yeah feeling considerably pissed off, I HATE JAKE WATSON HES AN IGNORANT BASTARD AND NEEDS TO DIE. so yeah glad i got that of my chest, if you were wondering the reason i hate him so much 1) he used to terrorize me in primary school 2) he terrorizes me in secondary. Today he was meaner than usual i nearly punched him, but i didn't he keeps saying stuff like i slit my wrists and loadsa bullshit. EURGH HUMAN BEINGS ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and btw has anyone ever thought about the fact that there is actually no such thing as time, it's just a conveniance for us humans.

so sick of...

1) people calling me a poser because i haven't liked my chemical romance since 2002 well i;m sorry in 2002 i was8 and hows an 8 year old english girl supposed to hear about a small american underground band from new jersey? i mean c'mon personally i think 2 years is a good amount of time to have liked a band for
2)people saying i follow the trend of being bi i'm not following some trend it took me ages to figure out i was bi and only one person actually knows about the fact i'm bi so you lucky people reading this are rather lucky to be reading this confidential information
3)people calling me emo i'm not emo i don't look emo i don't even have an emo haircut
4)people slagging off emo's god emo's are people too ya know they can smile they don't all cut theydo dance when they go to shows, well i mean they mosh
5)fishermen jesus christ me and my friend Aimee were up by the river near me and we went up to this lakey bit where loads of people go to fish and we were just throwing stones into the lake and we got told for it how mean is that?